i am everything you think i am not.

i am just a 19 year old, still evolving. growing. becoming. constantly changing. change is a symptom of growth.

social media use to give me anxiety. endless cycles of comparison. walking the thin lines between being vulnerable, open and honest at the same time. i wanna share things with you guys, to show you that i am human and i have bad things in my life. but now i know my creative energy has the power to inspire others. connect with you on a deeper level but it is also really scary to do, and some things obviously have to be left for yourself and not to share to the world. finding that balance can be hard. because if you stroll through social media almost everyone is showing their highs. i like being about positivity and sharing my light with you. i don’t think it’s veracious to only show you that side of my life. i wanna show you my shadows. because i want you to know that you are not alone.

the past few months have been a struggle for me. after being complete isolated from everyone i loved. needed to deal with having no phone or computer or any source of contact. my mind had finally had time to deal with all the things that happend. i never tried to listen too my feelings, if something would cause me a feeling of suffering i would rather build a imaginable cage inside my head to lock my feeling then exactly listen to my inner voice and deal with it. so overwhelming, so many things that i put away for years still hurt me. writing with a pen on paper has become my medicine. another source of relieve is meditation, it is helping me to listen and feel the sensations inside me to breath into them and let them go with every exhale. it makes me feel lighter. if you experience any form of anxiety, suffering or if you have any wounds. i would recommend you to tune in and tune out every morning and evening. i promise you it would make you feel lighter.