What should you do if you want to make everyone happy, but you can’t. Or what if you’re struggling with mental health problems, and you want to talk about it but you don’t know how.  For some reason my life was never about roses but more about the thorns. I hate complaining about my life, but I simply can’t do this anymore.

A few years ago my dad got long cancer. Everyone in our family was slowly changing, now I know that was because every single person is dealing with hard times differently. My dad was isolating himself trying not to hurt us while it worked the opposite way, my sister never wanted to talk about it so she was always trying to make everyone happy, my mom was trying to help us but in her own way so that didn’t work out so well even I appreciate what she was trying to do and I was trying to keep smiling and putting  my feelings behind a glass wall, but sometimes I couldn’t handle the pressure anymore so I got myself into a argument. A few years later after some things that happened my parents broke up and got divorced. My mom, sister and I plus our dog moved into a small apartment a little bit on the outside of the city. My mom also got into a new relationship with a really kind man. He already  had three boys from another relationship, around the same age of my sister and I. My dad left us and we haven’t spoken him in years. It broke my heart that he didn’t want to talk anymore, but I accepted his choice and moved on with my life.

A few years ago I graduated for high school and got into college, but I stopped in the beginning of my second year and started working in a small cafe to save up some money for my travels. I left my home 2 days after I turned nineteen and went to Mauritius, I stayed at a really nice apartment from a lovely old couple it was definitely the best first solo travel I got wish for. After a few weeks spending in Mauritius I went to Indonesia, I met so many beautiful people, discovered a lot of beautiful places, ate delicious food. My mind was slowly getting into a place of letting go of my past and focus on my happiness in the present. I am so grateful for this beautiful time in my life. But at the end of my time in Indonesia there were some very intense earthquakes, I got hurt and my phone broke so I couldn’t call anyone but the most hard part was that I saw the kind people die. It reminded me that life is sort and that all you need focus on is kindness, trust, positivity, compassion, affection and love. Life is about finding a balance between focusing on ourselves while being their for others when they can’t do it themselves. It is about finding someone where you can be yourself fully without any judgement. It is about learning new things from other and sharing our own information. It is not about taking is giving it’s about relieving is receiving. 

I don’t have a plan about what I want to do with my life, I came back home because I was planning to go back to college but I still don’t know what I should study there are so many great options and I want to make the right decision. So I am saving up money again and going back to Australia and maybe some more beautiful places.